Matt Braunger's Twitter Profile Analysis @braunger on Twitter

51 tweets

17 retweets

132 replies

Happy birthday to @ConanOBrien, who is a peach of a guy

Why don’t they do a movie about when King Kong and Godzilla were in college? I bet they got into some crazy shit

I can’t wait to see my kid. Gonna try to get into the cockpit to see if the pilots can go faster

Ah, nice to be back at the airport doing my favorite morning activity: Seeing who’s drinking hard booze before 10:00 am

Been a cool year so far. Baby’s healthy, I got both shots, & I once had a long conversation with Carl Weathers about The Queen’s Gambit

You wanna know how sick and stupid fatherhood is? A baby just cried and now I miss my baby

Got an iced coffee at 3:00 pm. Didn’t need it, but I’m at the airport, so there you go

You just voted to let the government decide who gets to look at your kids' genitals https://t.co/mvlafwllzC

"Don't do what he does" 😂 😂 😂 https://t.co/RP8gQESfRo

Just posted a photo @ Los Feliz https://t.co/en7WVBjhsw

Got my second shot yesterday morning. Felt like crap in the afternoon, slept like a man on death row (read: horribly), and today I'm still mildly shitty. Totally worth it. Makes me think if I'd gotten covid it'd probably mess me up bad

Goodbye, Bernie. I'll always remember going to @Trophybrewing, having a pizza and a beer, then walking past your prison to my show at @GoodnightsCC yelling "Hey Berns!" We'll always have that, you and me

How you gonna host a show called "Dirty Jobs," even though you've never worked a dirty job, and not support a living wage for people with actual dirty jobs??

She said she had to grab something from her apartment, & when we got there it was empty & needed cleaning. So I helped, then left, then realized she tricked me into helping me clean her old apartment before she moved. Never heard from her again. Every time I think of it I laugh https://t.co/vBErSC1ez5

We legit had the weirdest question today, and with my show that’s saying something https://t.co/YmY9uH7PUb

This sounds like something a cop would say. “Uhh, we’ve got some T-Rex individuals over here...” https://t.co/gBVPck3rxs

This is not...repeat...not an Onion headline. https://t.co/xdVVXbLU8F

a king https://t.co/7aZ2nJitlU

One time in Portsmouth, New Hampshire a man pointed at me and said to his daughter "Don't ever do what that man does." https://t.co/QDAewBBdxh

That "no commercials and exactly three trailers" rule made it impossible for me to watch movies anywhere but the Arclight, plus I kind of loved knowing the concessions guy's favorite movie.

Can’t wait till they remake Die Hard with Timothee Chalamet. I’m gonna cum so fucking hard.

Yo' momma's so stupid she supports the 361 chickenshit bills in 47 states supposedly designed to fix a voter fraud problem that doesn't even exist. #JimCrowHasGotToGo

Whatever else you choose to remember about DMX, I'm never going to forget the time he stole a Def Jam exec's car, got pulled over by cops, and him and Ja Rule had to hitchhike home 😂 https://t.co/AZDH9TlUJF

DMX dancing & singing to Lisa Lisa’s “I Wonder If I Take You Home” is quite possibly my favorite video of X because of just how much joy he has https://t.co/uhedRIU1gf

This is art https://t.co/f3URQSgEFM

Turns out we're recording later today than we originally thought, so if you've got a question for me and @Braunger about anything and/or everything feel free to call the number below and leave us a message. 🍓 https://t.co/S7tMiUsg78

I am almost certainly going to delve into a group of loose life philosophies that I am currently calling "Party Monk." https://t.co/RMm5jOfRUh

Team! I'm absolutely thrilled to be an upcoming guest on @Braunger's podcast, "This Might Help." Are you in search of some life advice? Hit us with a question at 323-763-0228 today and hopefully we can get to it when we record tomorrow. We'd absolutely love to hear from you! 💚✨

MOOD 🔥 @EarthWindFire https://t.co/tCsuUw3HJr

Flashback to the great @joshgondelman on the @comedyonvinyl podcast talking about @Braunger! Such a fun episode. Also, I don't publicize numbers, but it's safe to say that week Josh have us the "Gondelman Bump."* https://t.co/E7w1o039Qv