@mralistairgreen - Twitter Profile Analysis

Analysis of 200 tweets by alistair green, from 08 Jul 2022 to 26 Sep 2022.

@mralistairgreen twitter profile photo

alistair green

verified twitter profile @mralistairgreen


8,018 tweets
12,275 favourites
2 tweets per day
2012 since
2,004 following
200 listed
London location

Top Tweets by @mralistairgreen

alistair green
Imagine I came on for England now. Nah don’t be silly , would never happen. Why would I? I’m not even a professional footballer for a start…. or am I? Keep watching that’s all I’ll say for now.. 🤫 😉
26 Sep, 2022 - 08:34 PM UTC
alistair green
Just successfully talked myself out of exercising this morning because ‘I woke up a bit thirsty’. Buzzing. 😎👍
25 Sep, 2022 - 09:45 AM UTC
alistair green
phil and holly
21 Sep, 2022 - 08:29 AM UTC
alistair green
Thank you ma’am. For everything 🙏 🇬🇧
19 Sep, 2022 - 06:22 PM UTC
alistair green
Not an easy feat to pull off and there will of course be it’s detractors but I thought channel 5s coverage of the emoji movie hit the perfect note, and I for one, am not too ashamed to say I shed a tear or two. 👏
19 Sep, 2022 - 05:37 PM UTC
alistair green
Someone in this choir should break out and do a freestyle rap. Life is about recognising opportunities and SEIZING them. Believe in yourself. 💫
19 Sep, 2022 - 10:22 AM UTC
alistair green
Holding in a shit till tomorrow. Today is NOT the day for it.
19 Sep, 2022 - 07:46 AM UTC
alistair green
Despite being a lifelong republican and chairperson of the let’s definitely abolish the monarchy group, I find myself strangely comforted by the pomp and pageantry of this unique and moving British event. Read my column exclusively in todays observer magazine.
19 Sep, 2022 - 07:44 AM UTC
alistair green
One time someone dm’d me and said all you do is take the piss but they said it like it was a bad thing
18 Sep, 2022 - 07:40 PM UTC
alistair green
What day does the period of national mourning end? Don’t want to come out of it before everyone else does
18 Sep, 2022 - 08:11 AM UTC
alistair green
We met in the queue and we’ve become really good friends
17 Sep, 2022 - 09:51 PM UTC
alistair green
Saw this couple both extremely drunk screaming at each other outside the Wetherspoons at Liverpool Street about an hour ago. Police had to intervene. Looked nasty actually. https://t.co/erkJERpc9a
17 Sep, 2022 - 06:02 PM UTC
alistair green
Gonna be absolute carnage on here on Monday isn’t it. Just wall to wall bile, hate and screaming at each other. See you then 😎😉
17 Sep, 2022 - 05:40 PM UTC
alistair green
Done 🪄 😎
17 Sep, 2022 - 10:54 AM UTC
alistair green
The queue is the new poppy
16 Sep, 2022 - 04:27 PM UTC
alistair green
It’s gone into my catchphrase hall of fame. Canonised.
16 Sep, 2022 - 02:38 PM UTC
alistair green
Have to say I really have been a godsend through all this
16 Sep, 2022 - 09:41 AM UTC
alistair green
Its 2023.William is on the throne. The funeral for Elizabeth went on so long Charles died before it ended. The queue to see his body was added to the one to see the queen and starts at Tebay services on the M6. Tmrw marks the 1st anniversary of the center parcs massacre.
15 Sep, 2022 - 10:18 AM UTC
alistair green
man in his 40s at music festival
15 Sep, 2022 - 09:31 AM UTC
alistair green
*person breathes oxygen or drinks water* -oh my god that is just soooo quintessentially british #luvit 🇬🇧💕
15 Sep, 2022 - 08:27 AM UTC
alistair green
I’m resuming normal service now. New one coming tomorrow , nothing to do with the news 😛
14 Sep, 2022 - 04:54 PM UTC
alistair green
Absolutely appalling 🤬
13 Sep, 2022 - 07:38 PM UTC
alistair green
RIP jean-luc godard
13 Sep, 2022 - 11:17 AM UTC
alistair green
Going quite well so far isn’t it
12 Sep, 2022 - 05:53 PM UTC
alistair green
So on the way to heaven Paddington apparently got bored and just abandoned the queen halfway on a cloud?! Wow. Just WOW. So much for ‘mans best friend’. How about her majestys WORST friend more like 😡🤬. Unfollowed
12 Sep, 2022 - 11:38 AM UTC

Top Retweets by @mralistairgreen

Grace Dean
The Holocaust Memorial Garden in Hyde Park has now become a makeshift Queen Memorial Garden
18 Sep, 2022 - 11:33 PM UTC
Europe's Leading Soccer Futurologist
18 Sep, 2022 - 05:53 PM UTC
These are like Alan Bennet monologues for 2020s and should be acknowledged as such. https://t.co/3KIL0wjwag
15 Sep, 2022 - 10:33 AM UTC
Jake Lambert
“I want to go for a walk”
09 Sep, 2022 - 06:53 PM UTC
Crazy Frog
R.I.P. The Queen 🕯️
08 Sep, 2022 - 05:41 PM UTC
The Plate Licked Clean
Someone at Big Telly needs to give this man a series of 10 min slots (like Marion and Geoff) on BBC2 etc. Because he's incredible. https://t.co/zvJEeJanhJ
25 Aug, 2022 - 12:06 PM UTC
Dan Pearce
I wish more people watched Alistair Green, these skits are always so clever and painful. He gets so much worldbuilding in without breaking perspective https://t.co/4OGJJoTIRK
24 Aug, 2022 - 09:42 AM UTC
Katie Hallah
Still the best thing I've ever seen https://t.co/a1ukvrzT48
11 Aug, 2022 - 12:45 PM UTC
Marieke Hardy
If you're yet to get across the work of this fucking genius, please seek him out on every platform. This piece is one among many beautifully observed, brutal, human, quietly devastating. https://t.co/keC663Dttl
11 Aug, 2022 - 06:22 AM UTC
Like an Alan Bennett of the internet age, if Alan played all the Talking Heads. Alistair Green is superb. https://t.co/dbYSXtflnv
10 Aug, 2022 - 09:08 AM UTC
Never forget. Possibly the single greatest moment in the history of this country.
01 Aug, 2022 - 05:48 PM UTC
Bilal Zafar - twitch.tv/zafarcakes
This August, I'm bringing my brand new show; CARE to @edfringe with @FollowTheCow It's about when I worked in a care home for very wealthy people while on minimum wage. https://t.co/glrTJ5ZfiG RT's would be so much appreciated xo
11 Jul, 2022 - 09:07 PM UTC
alistair green
royal anecdote 🇬🇧
05 Jun, 2022 - 08:25 AM UTC
alistair green
woman who hates black people more than she hates paedophiles
31 May, 2020 - 11:48 AM UTC
alistair green
mondays amirite lol
08 Apr, 2019 - 04:16 PM UTC



98 tweets
82 replies

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Tweet Times


Tweet Days



3 - mralistairgreen
1 - Zafarcakes
1 - SenseiCarl_
1 - pukabowers
1 - mariekehardy
1 - werepoodles
1 - GameDesignDan
1 - cleanplateblog
1 - timheidecker


35 - mralistairgreen
2 - jimwaterson
2 - nedboulting
1 - is_vic_there
1 - paddy_delaney
1 - vallanceaaron
1 - MattHancock
1 - Jon_Parsons1
1 - MarkVBlue


2 - #bekind
1 - #magical
1 - #C4LeaderDebate
1 - #believeinmagic
1 - #5G
1 - #itvdebate
1 - #boohoodotcom
1 - #houseofgucci
1 - #summerwardrobe


No users mentioned.