No one you follow @Salle2Shooz
Damn no one’s even mentioned this entire month is 420. We’ve strayed so far from the Light.
The Xhosa Cher Horowitz 🌻 @_awuvuyxna
Normalize asking parents why they're shouting.
Sam Stein @samstein
Am I the only one who goes to bed every night convinced that my mild throat scratch is the beginnings of coronavirus only to wake up with a wave of huge relief that it's gone?
sharon 🌱 @dixoterin
the coronavirus really making people awaken their inner "A guy bought 20 watermelons" from those math problems
brad culp @bbculp
Activities with low risk of contracting COVID-19:
-Petting your dog
-Playing with your dog
-Rewatching Breaking Bad
-Looking at your dog
-Reminding your dog that he/she is a "good dog"
-Replying to this with a picture of your dog(s)
My relatives in China literally did not leave their apartments for over 20 days. Chinese people gladly self-quarantined, enduring the trauma of days on end inside. In total, all of China had 80k cases, while Ohio alone estimates to have 100k cases. Americans are so selfish. https://t.co/VrNmKMPezO
If you’re currently dating someone, this quarantine is really going to highlight how invested they are in dating you and how creative they can be.
People can’t rely on their usual dating techniques anymore. This period is all about communication and thinking outside of the box.
Bri 😈 @notyourbrook
i keep subtitles on cuz sometimes i just be snackin to loud
Dr. Fahrettin Koca @drfahrettinkoca
Son 24 saatte yapılan 1.981 TESTTEN 168’İ POZİTİF ÇIKTI. 191 olan hasta sayımız 359’a ulaştı. Hastalarımızdan 85 yaşındaki bir hanımefendiyi kaybettik. Daha önce vefat eden bir hasta COVID-19 olarak değerlendirildi. Toplam kaybımız maalesef 4 oldu. Acımız arttı ama başaracağız.
Stephanie Boland @stephanieboland
On the sofa and hear boyfriend start laughing to himself in the kitchen.
Turns out he'd just learned that 88 couples have come out of quarantine in China and immediately filed for divorce
So jealous of the “1 year ago today” me on Snapchat. She looks like she having a good time
So NONE of these Corona Virus cases have been black people?! LEMME FOUND OUT WE IMMUNE. It’s the least God can do after slavery.
Uncle G 👽🛸 @Gordough_
Corona Virus isn't real, the government just wants everyone inside for two weeks so they can change the batteries in the birds.
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez @AOC
They were never “unskilled workers.”
They were always essential.
And it’s WAY past time they got the respect they deserve w/ a living wage, paid sick leave, guaranteed healthcare, hazard pay, & more.
❄️ HELÉNA ❄️ @HelenaFryer
ngl if you're going clubbing in this pandemic you are a crackhead
Small weekend is over.. now entering big weekend ☹️
I’m sorry but if people such as fast food and grocery store workers are considered to be “essential workers” during a global pandemic then they deserve way more than $15 a fucking hour.
Falmé D @MottoMan_
Gyms closed. So this summer gone be about personality.
Corona day 3: it just feels like Sunday again and...again
aleve pm @greenbeangrrl
I lost my job bc of the virus and emailed my landlord asking if they’re doing anything to help their residents during this time and she had the audacity to tell me to........... just get another job ........................................
Roxi Horror 💀🌸 @roxiqt
Day 1 of quarantine: I'm going to take this as an opportunity to improve my health
Day 2 of quarantine: Due to personal reasons, I am eating a lasagna in my shower
Felipe Neto @felipeneto
A forma como o Prior tratou o Babu ao sair da casa é uma prova clara de como a saída dele foi acertada.
Coronavirus really closing everything down in the country, but my job
casey 🖤 @caseygripps
all customer service / retail workers should be getting hazard pay in a pandemic
Betty Draper @itsthelmzz
Universities need to refund some of tuition . Online courses are not the same as in person . Keeping the full tuition of their students is not only selfish it’s criminal . https://t.co/PESlrupsYo
Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump
We are learning much about the Invisible Enemy. It is tough and smart, but we are tougher and smarter!
Dr. Fahrettin Koca @drfahrettinkoca
61 YAŞINDA erkek bir hastamızı kaybettik. Kendisine Allah’tan rahmet diliyorum. Bugün sonuçlanan testler, tedbirlerin çok zorunlu olduğunu gösteriyor. Tanı konup tedavilerine başlanan 93 YENİ VAKAMIZ var. Hasta sayımız 191’e ulaştı. Riskin önünü birlikte keselim.
British ppl be like “ it’s chewsday innit ”
Dr Matt Prescott @mattprescott
Yesterday, my neighbour left me some homeade soup to pick up from outside; while I am recovering from a mild case of COVID. When I got there, I found not only a big container of piping hot soup, but two huge bags of shopping. I almost burst into tears. She barely knows me.
Bruna Marquezine @BruMarquezine
MUITO MUITO MUITO OBRIGADA pela dedicação de vocês! Mesmo!
Barack Obama @BarackObama
We've seen all too terribly the consequences of those who denied warnings of a pandemic. We can't afford any more consequences of climate denial. All of us, especially young people, have to demand better of our government at every level and vote this fall. https://t.co/K8Ucu7iVDK
Microwaves really be like: mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmbeepbeepbeep
In the town near me (Llandudno) the mountain goats have moved further down out of hills and have started wandering around the town more to graze !! https://t.co/m4dlp9Tydn
Ain’t seen my friends in so long next time I hangout w them ima be all shy
Keto people will eat a full block of cream cheese a day and be like this is actually much healthier than even thinking about a slice of bread
VILLAIN 3 OUT NOW @CEAZEDAVILLAIN
The government is asking y’all to do nothing & ya can’t even do that right lol
I have a maths joke but I’m 2² to say it🙈
ICE T @FINALLEVEL
I was raised by OGs. Some of you were raised by IG. I understand.
rob and his gf (shared acct.) @OkButStill
every woman working from home is doing so on a macbook air on the couch, cup of tea. every man is at a 3-monitor setup with the loudest keyboard he could find at best buy.
wes 🌊 @wesley__1k
My neighbor has a wife. Or a girlfriend. I’ve seen them kiss. Hold hands. All that.
During the day (when his girl is at work) I noticed another girl was coming over during the day. Didn’t think nothing of it at first. Minding my business.