If Rapunzel can entertain herself in her tower for 18 years, I think you can handle being in quarantine for a few weeks.
hodel in the streets, chava in the sheets @mrotzie
Friends canceled their son’s Bar Mitzvah this weekend but decided to keep the contract with their caterer, a tiny Hmong-owned business. They delivered the food to friends in quarantine & sent pans home with others. Grateful for stories like this and for community in a bleak time.
Pete Evans @p_evans
I have seen a lot of random coronavirus-related stories but I did not see "monkey gang war" coming.
MONKEY GANGS https://t.co/lHUixykdSC
Damn my boyfriends job really said for the next 2 weeks if they don’t want to work they will get full pay but if they want to work they will make double time... NOW THATS HOW YOU TREAT YOUR EMPLOYEE’S!
Eugene Lee Yang @EugeneLeeYang
An older woman in front of me demanded her drink get remade because her barista was Asian.
When I tried to inform her how irrational that request was, she turned and sneered, “are YOU Chinese?”
I replied, “no, but your ugly-ass knockoff purse is.”
Shut your racist asses up.
sloane (sipihkopiyesis) @cottoncandaddy
my favourite consequence of the covid-19 societal lockdown is aquarium penguins roaming around freely and when this is all over I for one welcome them as our new overlords https://t.co/jRAQsF9nqm
D i l l 🦦 (Dm limit) @Khydill
When this Corona shit passes we have to promise each other that we’re going to tell our kids that we survived a zombie apocalypse in 2020
Pigeons probably think we’re extinct
Ravaska Rampersad @ravaskar
COVID spelt backwards is DIVOC and what DIVOC going on
a tweet from eli!!! @eliyudin
“I’ll have a Corona... hold the virus!” -a dad on vacation somewhere in Florida right now
Airlines: $35 to put your bag on our plane
Airlines: $16 for bag of chips
Airlines: Sorry you want your *legs* to fit? $75
Airlines: haha, you have to fork over an extra $50 to choose the seat you already paid for
Airlines: Oh no someone help us we r out of monies
the government is making us quarantine so they can change the batteries in the pigeons
ima flirt with as many people as i can during this quarantine. what y’all gonna do?? come see me? LMAO
Bro y’all be forgetting it’s spring and people actually have allergies not corona
Drake somewhere in the booth singing “I can’t tell if you’re social distancing or distancing yourself from me socially”
Italy is CLOSED! And what did the government do to support it's people? It suspended all mortgages and household bills until people can go back to work. THAT is taking care of your citizens.
E.L. ★彡 @eliseIau
My dad just walked into the room looking sad as fuck with his fists closed and said “I just realized my office plant is gonna die” bc he’s working from home LMAO https://t.co/jEziCQQXnY
lydia 🍃 @lydiakahill
me and me dad are sharing the dining room table working from home today. He's an aerospace engineer on a conference call ordering fuselage prototypes and I'm drawing a duck
J Hooch @JardinTaylor
Coronavirus is everywhere. BOOK THAT FLIGHT. Take that trip. You probably won’t die from it, but even if you do... You wanna die with the Eiffel Tower in the background, or you wanna die with I-20 in the background? You decide.
Rachel Clarke @doctor_oxford
So society’s *real* key workers have just been revealed.
Not the bankers. Not the traders. Not the elite hedge fund managers.
It’s the nurses. The doctors. The delivery drivers. The carers. The porters. The teachers. The shelf stackers. The check out staff.
Cool Hand Bo @BoBundyy
Went to get checked for corona virus and walked out with diabetes ain’t this some bullshit lmao
Eric D @ericd
I don’t think a video could define our generation better than this kid making a tiktok while being tested for corona https://t.co/flVqOMjHSu
Brian Tyler Cohen @briantylercohen
Holy shit. Katie Porter holds the CDC Director's feet to the fire and gets him to commit to FREE TESTING for coronavirus for ALL AMERICANS.
Watch every second of this.
NO ONE SHOULD HAVE TO APPLY FOR UNEMPLYOMENT DURING A PANDEMIC OR CRISIS. WHY CANT WE HAVE SICK PAID OR HAVE UTILITIES BE COURTEOUS AND POSTPONE BILL PAYMENTS AND LOAN PAYMENTS WHY CANT LANDORDS STOP BEING PREDATORY AND HAVE A MONTH OFF RENT. THIS COUNTRY IS ASS 1/5 STARS
Corona virus got a 97% survival rate nd the whole country panicking
Paul Bradshaw @bradshaaaw
Yesterday I knocked on my Tennant's door and told him he can stay in the property rent free for 5 months. He is self employed with 4 kids. I don't need Boris to tell me what is morally correct. Landlords, if you can, do more, do something. #COVID19 #BeNice
Bill Pulte @pulte
I’m going give $3,000 to someone random who retweets this tweet in the next 72 hours (must be following me so I can dm you. Will show proof, as always)
ITALY INVENTED COVID 19 TO SELL MORE PASTA @punished_stu
the fact that America seems to be rejecting the "free healthcare" candidate during a global pandemic is something I am finding hard to digest
Half of us are gonna come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks and the other half is gonna come out with a drinking problem. There is no in between
Can y’all please just follow the government’s instructions so we can knock this COVID-19 out and be done?! I feel like a kindergartner that keeps losing more recess time because one or two kids can’t follow directions.
HIKAKIN😎ヒカキン 【YouTuber】 @hikakin
R.I.P. SCOTT @PUGGS_
The government know y’all gone be wylin if they said 4 months so they gone tell y’all 30 days at a time lmao
Emily Andras @emtothea
Can't believe the first COVID celebrity death was Vanessa Hudgens' career
My quarantine routine:
7 AM: (wake me up)
8 AM: wake me up inside
9 AM: (I can’t wake up)
3 PM: wake me up inside
4 PM: (SAAAAVE ME)
5 PM: CALL MY NAME AND SAAAAVE ME FROM THE DARK
6 PM: Pesto pasta, again
John Boyega @JohnBoyega
Africa isn’t a testing lab you pieces of shit.
B. W. Carlin @BaileyCarlin
I have been informed by a relative who is a middle school teacher that students are now referring to coronavirus as the “boomer remover”
Roger Mac Ginty @rogermacginty
I am 30 minutes into home schooling my 6 year old. I suggest that all school teachers are paid £1m per year from now on.
almond tits @_ayannaE
April fool's cancelled this year cause aint shit funny
Augie Nash @AugieNash
I'm at Sam's Club
Older couple in 70's checking out
Cashier asks if they found everything they needed
Lady said no - needed bread
Young man in 20's heard this and says " Ma'am, I have a loaf you can have, and if you see anything in my cart, you're welcome to it"
It’s sexual assault awareness month and I wanna say a big fuck you to every person who decided to touch another human being without fucking content. You’re fucking disgusting :)
Was anyone else like closer than they ever have been to having their life together right before this all happened bc lol
WWE airing their shows w/o a crowd because of the coronavirus has gave us quite possibly the greatest moment in wrestling history LMFAOOOOOOOOO https://t.co/gaLgQ8HLkd